I skipped work to stalk him.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
