I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
