she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
