this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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