i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
