i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
