fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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