Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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