ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
