i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
