i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
