the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just got carded by a ten year old.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
