I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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