Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
