Don't you send me to vm
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
