listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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