i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
