my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
