My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
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I just gift wrapped bread.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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