just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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