you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
