i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
50% drunk capacity currently
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
