I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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