u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it because I queefed?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
