wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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