There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
