Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
