that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
