**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
