You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
