I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
