The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I could fuck to npr.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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