when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
