I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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