It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
