We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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