Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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