If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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