im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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