She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
