The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
