Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize