how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
