I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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