Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
