how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
