I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
