Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my being single is dangerous.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
