yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
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I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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