My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he thought i was a dude.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
