Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
