you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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