It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
