No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
