i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
