Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
