I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
