Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
