I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
