Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
