In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
