careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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