he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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