I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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