he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
