The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
