I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
