so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
These tits shall not be calmed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
