i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
