doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
